I’ve noticed I’m so chronically worried about what other people will think I censor myself and don’t get coaching on issues that could be controversial. I worry about offending or being judged by whoever is coaching me. For example, I work in adult entertainment and also self-publish erotic romance books. I’m worried about offending a more sensitive coach and don’t talk about issues with business.
That’s a more obvious example, but I also find myself worrying about being judged for other things as well, that might not even be controversial, such as talking about kids or pets to someone who might actively dislike children for all I know. Or talking about how my husband gave me property to someone who might think I’m spoiled and don’t deserve it. Probably my own projection, but I have had other people turn on me in my personal life for it.
I know I’m not asking for coaching on what I need. I know in theory that LCS coaches are supposed to be impartial, but I also don’t want to be coached by someone who completely looks down on my life and is just stuck doing it from obligation because the scheduler assigned them me that week.
I know I feel more comfortable with some coaches than others, I can only assume it works both ways. Except I rarely get any personal information from them and I’m telling them personal details, so I can’t tell.
How do I get past this? This is not the only place in my life where I avoid communicating due to fear.