Thank you for your response.
You said…

“Check out this thought: “they are challenges I don’t want”. If that’s true, then why not just walk away and focus on your career and making money? It’s definitely an option to turn away from the challenges your kids bring your way. There’s no rule that says you have to stick around and help out with all that.”

I feel resistance to that because I don’t think that is a choice that I have as mom of <18 year old. But, teen doesn’t want my help or help from anyone, so when I choose to stay with this challenge it doesn’t get anywhere because teen Isn’t showing up.

So I guess that I have two conflicting thoughts.

1) I can’t help someone who doesn’t want my help and/or doesn’t think they even have a problem.

2) it is my job as mom to be there for my kids and support them, prepare them, launch them, teach them.

And so I am stuck between the two of them. Getting nowhere with teen, and nowhere with myself.

I don’t really have a question at this point. Just looking for thoughts and perspective.