Changing missing out with the action line


These days I have been working on connections, a theme I have been having lots of scarcity thoughts around probably all my life, but more since I moved abroad. So when I walk around my neighbourhood and I see other people around me my brain starts chasing connection with thoughts like “that could potentially be your best friend” or “that could potentially become your girlfriend, if you just knew her” or “that person could introduce you to a whole other group of friends with whom you could build strong bonds and have a great connection” and all along those lines. So any normal walk around my block, mostly on the weekend, can become an excruciating experience of missing out. When I have a new interaction, on the other hand, my brain immediately jumps thoughts like “my disconnection is starting to unfold, will finally be amazing, I will find all the connection and meaning that I have always desired” producing excitement, which is generally short lived and at most can gift me of a excitement-driven overeat. So all of the thoughts and beliefs I have around connection stand on top of the belief that my life would be much more expanded with more connections and I don’t have enough of them now. Now what you always suggest is to do thought work to start feeling connected now without changing the A line (A=interacting with new people). I did this a lot of times, a lot of times I let go of the urge to interact and sink into my solitude and my feeling of missing out allowing it to be there. However I have this belief: that doing this is indulging in missing out, and that doing thought work to feel ok with the connection I have right now is not fair, because seeking more connection is a genuine desire, and it is unfair to me to let genuine desires unanswered! How can I allow the missing out to be there without be indulging in it? Thanks so much!