In this month’s “how to change your past” work, I didn’t think I had much to change. Now on July 12, I am realizing one big area.
I am now 60 years old and have spent many years working in our own successful advertising company as a copywriter. As a very young woman I told people I was a writer or that I was writing. I loved the identity, but I did not really write anything at all. I realize now that I am carrying shame and drama and feelings of being a liar or an imposter. For the first time I am seeing that carrying this shame and tension (you are not a writer- you have always been a liar), must be resolved for me to go forward with writing goals.
I am quite sure that just this realization is valuable, but what positive steps could I try to incorporate into my intentional model.
Unintentional Model
C Writing
T I have been lying to myself and others about writing for almost 40 years.
F ashamed.
A not writing.
R not a writer.
C Writing
T I am starting to see the impact of the shame I have carried about lying about being a writer for almost 40 years.
F curious. Self compassion
A Self coaching; doing models; free writing for 10 minutes at a time; Making a realistic writing plan.
R starting to rewrite my unconscious story of being a fake by writing regularly and releasing shame