I have a job interview for a new job I am applying for and I want to show up differently for myself than I have in the past, but I am worried I will have the same result.
I am changing my attachment to work. It was always what I used in young adulthood to survive being in my family by going away to study and then moving away to work. I have come to not value my role and what I do and only see it as something that I have to do to survive. I have lost the connection to people I work with and it has become about getting the job done.
I am doing thought work to value myself and show up as the person I want to be, not who I was before–cold and work-focused and disconnected (this is based on feedback I have received).
My unintentional thought is “I have to work to have control over my life” and “It is just a job”. I felt frustrated. I was demanding and no one was good enough at anything they did on my team. The result was having conflict with coworkers.
I do believe I matter more. I want to feel connected to people (which feels scary and makes me vulnerable). They may not like me, or they may.
I want to show up as a self-confident person who values human connection, not just the work someone does so I can get along well with my coworkers and form relationships with them.
Is this a way to change my result? By changing how I think of my relationship with work and myself? What if it doesn’t work out how I envision?