I lost my 3 year old granddaughter to a brain tumor a year ago. Then a few months later a friend of 40 years passed from cancer and now a few months ago my 91 yr old dad fell and fractured his neck and has since passed. I have been on a part time leave of absence from my job for the past 2 years. My leave of absence is up July 1 and I cant go back to full time so will be quitting the unfulling boring as hell job. I absolutely can’t afford to quit so have to get my act together to earn an income.
When I was on the leave of absence I hoped that I would be able to work a bit on my coaching business but it just didn’t happen as I got dragged under in all the grief and stuff in happening in my personal life. I have lots of good days and I never know what will trigger an emotion and its ok I allow myself to cry etc. However I still have to have an income and my last day of work is July 31, but i feel like I have checked out of life. I don’t believe its depression its just that I find myself numbing myself out with tv, chocolate and just surfing facebook. I feel like I have no focus, no concentration and cant seem to get myself motivated to do anything. I get bits and piece of things done sometimes but no where need what i need to. I prefer an afternoon nap. Any suggestions on getting myself out of this funk. Lots of people have said to see a counselor but I kinda don’t like the (counselling model) LOL …..I do catch myself saying things like what is wrong with me……..and I know the answer is nothing…..I just cant get my act together, Why cant I focus, I’m so bored. I love to teach and mentor women and run workshops, but I think I’ve lost my confidence over the past 3-4 years. Being in a job I hate and then going through the illness etc with my grandaughter. …. …. I am feeling a little lost.