Hello, I have a 10 year old son who is a true empath and is highly sensitive to the world and emotions around him. Try as we might to keep out most of the terrible things going on in the world, he is suffering from extreme anxiety and obsessive negative thoughts. We have him in therapy twice a week and I am extremely fortunate that he feels comfortable talking to me anytime about anything. Lately, I’ve become emotionally depleted when he seeks me out 10-15 times a day to talk through his worries. I have to pretend that I am fine, when often I am not fine (business shut down, I’m suffering from anxiety too). But if I express any frustration (not about him, but frustration in general), he immediately shuts down because he doesn’t want to worry me and add more to my plate. It’s a lot of pressure to be cool all the time right now.
Part two of this is that I only have him 50% of the time, and when he is with his dad, I obsess that he is not getting the help he needs and doesn’t feel any support at all from the other household. So I worry and worry (and worry) that something bad is going to happen when he’s over there or that he will sink even farther into his despair without me. That equals me putting more pressure on myself and letting the guilt train run non-stop through my head all day long.
Here is my current model and alternative model. I would love any additional insight. Thanks in advance!
C: Son is anxious
T: I can’t help him or fix it
F: panic, helpless
A: Worry, obsess, hyper-focus on him
R: I don’t fix anything and I feel terrible all the time
C: Son is anxious
T: He is able to get all the help he needs, and he will find his own path
F: Powerful & Calm
A: Give help when asked, seek appropriate care, listen and let go
R: He gets all the help he needs and finds his own path