Dear Brooke,

My 19 year old daughter suffers from depression and severe anxiety and I also think that she has PSTD due to exposure to her abusive father when she was a child, and he died when she was just 11 leaving her emotional wounded.
She confided in me today that she doesn’t want to live, and that although she says that she would never physically hurt herself, she often thinks about how easy it would be to end the pain if she just drove her car off the road. I have had her in therapy several times over the years and she has been seeing a therapist for the past 18 months on a bi-weekly basis. I have not seen much progression in her recovery in the past year that that has really concerned me. She and I often struggle to communicate because she really just doesn’t care about anything and I guess, I really couldn’t fully understand that her lack of respect was not about me, but more about her. Knowing how she feels about her life really scares me and I want to help her. My sister is a crisis counselor and knows what it feels like to not want to live (her only child was killed 15 years ago) and she is going to try to work with her and help get her through this. My question is more about what I can do as her mother to support her as she goes through this. I don’t want to take it personally when she doesn’t care and talks to me in a disrespectful tone. I don’t want to bother her if her things laying around the house are annoying me ( like I often do). I want to love her unconditionally and not let external unimportant factors ruin our relationship and prevent her from healing. Here is a model that I walk through, can you please offer me some, advice or feedback please?

C- I love my daughter but she doesn’t want to be here
T-I am afraid that I might lose her
F- Fear, despair, determination to help her
A-Get her the help she needs, don’t sweat the small stuff
R- She lives and finds peace in her life and our relationship becomes solid

Thanks!