I’m not sure if I should use this relationship in this month but I do need help with it so I’m looking for advice.
Last July, I broke up with this guy after a 5 year relationship. He is a nice guy but I think he is very manipulative! He desperately wants to be in this relationship again more and has tried several manipulative tactics (in my opinion) to get us “there”.

We still “deal” with each other because he keeps my cows at his ranch and he keeps my dog at times when I’m traveling. I was willing to sell my cows when I left the relationship and was planning on it right up to the day I was to do it. I didn’t sell them for a variety of reasons but the main one was I couldn’t face the loading them up from his place knowing how “hurt” he would be and I would feel guilty. But the price wasn’t good at that time either so I used that as an excuse. I assured him that this didn’t mean I was willing to be in or revisit the relationship and that I would only help on the ranch approximately one day a month when they needed me for branding and moving cows. (I really like working with cows and this allows me to still do that)

We agreed to be “friends” but any time I give an inch, he wants to take a mile! Example, I was trying to be polite and answer his texts and such and it became more and more frequent. Then within the same week he asked me to go to a dinner meeting with him, he brought me flowers, and felt the need to tell me that he loved me. He backed off a lot after I texted him and told him that those three things felt like a full relationship and in an effort to maintain a “friendship” I requested that he stop. I had reduced my communications with him quite a bit after that.

This weekend I went up and helped he and his brother brand calves and we all enjoyed the day. Several issues reminded me why I was not in the relationship but others made me ask why I wasn’t. I am sure I give him mixed messages but I just can’t live the way they do and always be on the defense about his manipulation. He isn’t someone I can be “proud” to be in a relationship with. I don’t trust him to be honest with me. I think he is lazy but now he has back problems and has some reason to be. Their family has always just gotten by and they are not progressive in any way. His Dad was very controlling of his mother and I felt I was going down that same path with our relationship.

I need to find some kind of resolution in this relationship! I spend way too much time thinking about it and it consumes me at times. I have gotten better since starting the Scholars program but still have a long ways to go…

Is this too complicated of a relationship to use in this process?