Choosing How To Feel AND Feeling My Feelings

You’ve spoken extensively about our powers to CHOOSE how we feel – irrespective of our circumstances. And you’ve also spoken about the importance of FEELING our feelings – without trying to buffer against or fix our experience.

At present, I am experiencing thoughts and feelings related to rejection, grief, and shame around the end of a romantic relationship— I am curious about what it means for me to experience these feelings as “vibrations in my body”, to practice fortifying my courage around my emotional life, and to learn that I am capable of being present with any feeling that my life circumstances may present. I agree, this sounds like true freedom.

However, I notice the thoughts and beliefs that inform my emotions. Specifically: C: Man I’ve been dating (and pushed away in hopes of provoking more reassurance) has withdrawn and agreed that we are a poor match. F: Regret, Shame, Grief, Rejection T: “i was too afraid to show up fully and experience this relationship with an extraordinary man when I had the chance, and now it’s too late” A: both rumination AND attempts to feel the feelings in my body R:more rumination, and yes – confusion!

I can tell myself that this is a fabulous opportunity to know myself more deeply and learn from my experience- to gain intimacy with myself….however, thinking that thought, which is ALSO TRUE, doesn’t quiet the sting of sadness and rejection. I look forward to your feedback.