For the past 7 years or so, I have chosen to stay with my husband. My reasons are my kids and I feel committed to that reason. My husband and I both work long hours and our relationship is mainly transactional. Sometimes our relationship is negative – mostly when I ask for something I want or if I ask him not to yell at me or speak to me in a certain way.
The challenge is that I want more from a relationship (I have wants that aren’t matched and due to my values I can’t get met outside our relationship). I have done a lot of the work and most of the time can be at peace with my decision, but there are things that I miss such as romance, intimacy, and friendship. I also feel confused at times about Brooke’s teaching to not leave due to unhappiness. I am often sad and feel like it’s a lot of work to stay in this relationship.
I want to enjoy my life and not feel sad or have to work so hard to be neutral.