Hi, I’m brand new to scholars (I finally saved up enough!) and I’m so excited to be here.

I’ve been listening to the podcast for about 6 months and learning to use the model, but I really wanted to dive in deeper and turn my life around.

Over the past two years, I’ve been dealing with a chronic illness (chronic embedded UTI – a bit like Interstitial Cystitis the physical pain is sometimes completely debilitating). The infection got really bad recently and I ended up spending about two weeks in the hospital. I had to stop work, everything came to a grinding halt while I recovered.

I’m hopefully on a good route to recovery now with high dose, long-term antibiotics – my pain is going away slowly (which is a miracle!). Although I have been left with a lot of anxiety about things like: my health, an upcoming operation I need, the future, and my ability to have kids or maintain a job and a relationship etc.

It’s left a huge dent in my confidence, and two years of intense physical pain has also given me pretty bad depression. (I think the medication also makes me feel quite up and down).

I’ve been doing lots of models on my thoughts which are really helping, but I’m struggling with Monday Hour One as I just never know how my body is going to be feeling day to day.

It makes planning very difficult, and it also makes Friday Hour Done a bit upsetting because I look back on the week like: “well I had to cancel all of that because I wasn’t up to it etc” which is demotivating.

Do you have any advice for this?

At the moment I feel like it’s not really working for me, and then I just end up beating myself up about it. Sometimes I’m completely wiped out so even if I’ve scheduled simple tasks into my calendar, I can’t do them and the day is a write-off spent lying in bed.

Is there anything in the study vault that you can point me to that might help with some of these problems?

Thank you so much!