Need some coaching. So I am having a bunch of confusion around the church. I was brought up with really no religion. My mom married a catholic but never took us to church or synagogue. My mother is Jewish and in the Jewish religion by birth you are Jewish. Long story short but I married a Catholic and according to my mother that was so embarrassing (although she has married two) and getting married in a church would embarrass her in front of her family. When my kids were baptized she didn’t come. I converted to Catholism a few years ago but haven’t told anyone in my family (shame).
I am very mixed in my faith. My husband is very Catholic and I know its important to him to go. There are things I can’t stand about how my husband makes the kids go to church, like they need dress up, they can’t wear hats, etc. I also don’t love all of the things the church teaches (pro-life, etc.). So, I sometimes don’t take communion and I put it in my pocket.
I recently got an email from the church to my husband with me as the CC– important matter. They have identified that I put it in my pocket. I was so angry and embarrassed. I was angry because they have my contact information (I have volunteered there several times and they have reached me via email) and they sent this to my husband! I replied and said I wanted to have a conversation with the priest about my confusion around my faith- no response. Today I went back to church and I snuck out of the back room to not see the priest face to face. I don’t know what to do here. I don’t really want to go back, but I also don’t want this priest to take my power away.
Any coaching is helpful.