Circumstance Truly Neutral

In my coaching call yesterday, I realized that in order to make my C line neutral I justify it and give it excuses in my T line.

C- mom says I don’t deserve to have dad help me find car because she never had that
T- it’s not her fault because she’s coming from a place of unresolved hurt and pain
F- empathy
A- Grit my teeth and allow her treat me poorly, pull away, dislocate, short with her, shut down
R- I eventually get so hurt that I call her out, sometimes aggressively, and create a boundary. She feels guilty, sorry, shame? I feel bad for her and the cycle perpetuates over and over again

Do you see what I mean?
How do I think about the C line so it is truly neutral?
Please help so this cycle will end!