Clarifying where to begin and best strategies

Hi Brooke!

I just signed this Sept and am getting familar with the material. I am a national speaker and work full time in ministry. Struggled with deep shame, depression and I have a similar story of years in inner-healing work, retreats, leadership programs, and couseling… I think I spent more money on my counseling than my actual masters. (So I have a phd in myself 😉 ) Anyway, I am very self-aware when it comes to “my stuff,” my past, and my sabataging patterns, but I struggle with building a future, dreaming—I was addicted to my woundedness for so long, ABUNDANCE seems unfamiar and freaking scary. (Not sure if that makes sense) Here’s my deal and questions:

1. I’m choosing not to be overwhelmed as we begin. It is a new adventure. BUT I know I have a lot of belief systems about myself that sabatage my life. I watched an intro video on the cover page (you did maybe in July?) which instucted us to begin with the
workbook: (10 minutes daily on the workbook, one hour to watch podcast, repeat.) The video for September 1st said to begin with your biggest issue, (drinking, weight program) not necessarily the workbook. Or maybe I misunderstood. So should I begin with the making myself feel better curriculum or just do the September workbook? Can you clarify?

2. I have ADD, (and am more of a creative). I struggle with organization and planning/logistics in general. I no longer have shame around my issues with spelling, my intellect or focus; but do experience a lot of negative feeling around my ability to get it done, and just planning in general. I have sabataging patterns that seem to be rooted in how I see myself (I am always late, and avoid planning/admin in general, and it is cyclical pattern.) How might I change my thoughts around how I see myself and my ability to organize and/or how I see organization in general?

3. As a full-time speaker, the business side of my ministry gets sabataged because of fear… I hide, my website is so outdated, (horrible) etc. Thankfully I get called back because of word-of-mouth. But I am embarrased about my management of all of it. Brooke, I need yo’ help. This September topic is a central issue for me. But on a deeper level, my real issue is the fear I have in shifting how I see myself. As you know, Our self-perception Effects EVERY aspect of my life. And because I am choosing not to be overwhelmed 😉 , instead, I need some encouragment that we will get there and to have patience. But also I want to be effective… Is the strategy to just “jump in and learn to swim” aka: just apply the model as needed and GO! or will doing the Sept corriculum address my beliefs about myself. I just need to know how best to be effective?

Sorry for the hand holding as we begin, I am feeling resistance even in the initial workbook and am choosing to push through, but need to know the best steps.

Hope you had a wonderful Labor Day,