I brought a question a couple of days ago about clarity & constraint, and feelings of being flustered & overwhelmed with ‘too many goals’ – and then also accusing myself & feeling I’m being ‘not enough’ etc. I want to continue working on this. Following your feedback, I have progressed with my models on what my thoughts are about my calendar, looking at it in a more granular way and making sure my C line is specific rather than telling myself ‘I have too many goals’. Looking at my models today, I still think I am coming at my calendar & goals from a position of ‘push push push’ myself and ‘gritting teeth’ – but I am making some progress in understanding myself. Here are my models from today below:

Model on Unintentional Thought
C: my calendar today: piano 30 min, 8 appointments with clients, 3 15xmin email slots, task to put ‘to dos’ in diary (planning ahead), follow meal plan, time with family, rest
T: I worry I won’t manage it all and may (for example) eat off plan, not do all my piano practice, or not have energy to oversee son’s homework & connect with husband. Thus I worry the day will feel too much
F: dread (overwhelm?)
A: I tell myself negative things about my calendar at the start of the day which then affects my thoughts & mood as I go into the day
I accuse myself about having overpacked my calendar
I have guilty thoughts about neglecting my family and particularly son’s homework
I push myself during the day
I lose sight of my impossible goal
I fill the empty time I do have with buffering and mindless scrolling
I lose trust in myself in terms of consistency
R: I don’t manage the tasks I have set myself for the day

Model on Intentional Thought
C: my calendar today: piano 30 min, 8 appointments with clients, 3 15xmin email slots, task to put ‘to dos’ in diary (planning ahead), follow meal plan, time with family, rest
T: This is the plan I’ve made for today. I can learn from how it goes, from how it feels.
F: clear
A: I clarify my priorities
I gradually delete things from my calendar
First thing in the morning I add what needs to be done to the calendar (adjust from MHR)
I prioritise rest & time with family: goes in calendar first
I tell myself I’m enough
I look at my tasks for the day with curiosity: is it a good schedule for Thursdays? what can I learn from how it feels & how I think about it?
R: I achieve the tasks I have set myself for the day