Clean pain versus dirty pain

I always get incredible help when I ask a question here, but I notice that many times I start writing and then my brain immediately wants to self coach and I stop. Especially with this one.

Recently, I received a message from one of my former clients who he said that he can’t continue working in my program (he paid for the month of October before), because there was a tragedy in his family. His wife died the day after giving birth to their child.

I immediately canceled his membership and reimbursed the payment, and I was experiencing clean pain for him. I have just met this guy a couple times in a group coaching calls, but I really liked him and I experience tremendous pain about what has happened in their family.

Where I need help though is the part where I think that he hates me, and I am somehow responsible for what has happened. I know that I can’t be responsible for someone else’s death. Rationally, I understand that as I grow and have hundreds and hundreds of people I work with, there will be more successes and tragedies as well.

But, I am from a very superstitious country and my thought process is “what if my coaching and the way my program is created (I talk a lot about living your dream life) is harming people?” “What if other people will find out what has happened with a participant of my program and will think badly about my work?”  I think my brain thinks it is important to blame and shame me, and that I need to learn/see/change something in my program/marketing or myself.