Clean up old stuff running

On recent tdl – had lots of stuff come up on the recent past, my last 10 years, i have been in victim place and was unable to see out of it. Mostly I embody other feelings these days but this is old and needs cleaned up and is probably running some of my life…..

Not sure how to clean it up….
lots of the thoughts about how do I even pay for the things I’m trying to change my life with (circus school 300 due on 7th 3500 due by feb 20 plus bills, room & board etc.., pay for a run of my honey which will be immediately profitable and in 15 locations when I can do first batch…etc etc how can I just pay for dental work) so that comes up, it comes up that I’ve had steady place to live for last three years but never had bills paid each month or the strugglbus and fear of loosing it….

So did
C: not enough money or this situation of paying for things
T: i’m scared things will get worse
F: terror
A: buffer, cry, frantic action, inaction, spinout
R: things don’t improve, feel like a victim, more feelings

T: things have gotten better and better

But then much came up arguing that so tdl on it—-
And its this more stuff that I still haven’t been able to take care of myself Nd deal w/ my teeth and I’m not covering my monthly bills with ease
so did
T: i din’t have things i need
F: victimized
A: cry, do tdls, feel more feelings like hopelessness, have lack of clarity anout what to do
R: not getting closer to things I need

These ate the deeper things, how do I clean this up and shift this….