I have been working on feeling closer with my partner and what this means to me. I think in the past I have always left it up to him and how he acts to either allow me to feel close to him or not. Through lots of work on this I have come to realize that I am the only one that can create thoughts and feelings of closeness. When I intentionally choose to love him and be close to him, I notice that I feel a lot more closeness. When something happens or he does something that I don’t like, I make it mean that we are not close.
Here is my most recent model. Please could you provide some insight and feedback. Thank you.
C: Partner talking about his holiday to Ibiza for his friend’s stag.
T: I would like to be closer to him
A: Make up scenarios in my head about how we could be closer, I overthink it, I don’t open up to him about it, I withdraw from him, I message him less when he’s at work, I spend more time alone.
R: I’m not closer to him