My dad left our family after having an affair when I was small. We saw each other sporadically (from what I remember and what my mum told me) until about 7 years old and I haven’t seen him since.
Last year I connected with his sister, my aunt, and we met a few times and got on well.
I asked her if she’d get a feel for dad’s thoughts on this. She text him and he replied saying he was angry with her (his sister) for meeting with me without asking him. He didn’t say he wanted to meet me (or that he didn’t). I’ve done some thought work around this text exchange – what I’m making it mean, how I have a ‘manual’ for how an absent father should respond to a text of this nature, but I want to go deeper here.
What I want, after 20+ years, is closure. I want to know whether my dad wants a relationship with me, yes or no. I guess I also want to hear ‘his side of the story’. Closure to me looks like an explanation and a decision from him, but I know I cannot control his thoughts (whether he wants a relationship) or behavior (whether he will even see me)
I want to use these tools to move forward. I know I cannot control his thoughts or behavior.
How can I work through this? Can you point me towards questions I could ask myself or a direction for self-coaching?
I’m a diamond so have access to the vault if there’s a certain monthly work you’d recommend.
Thanks so much