Clothing Freak Out


So last week I started to notice that my black yoga pants were really getting too big (I have 7 pair and have worn them daily for years). In their defense, they have lasted for 60# of weight loss, couldn’t ask more from them than that. But they were seriously tucked in my bra in the front and dragging on the ground.

So I decided this was the week and I got some new clothes. Maybe a few too many considering how much I still have to lose, but it was mostly Lularoe which has huge size ranges and nothing fitted so I can make it work for a while. So I got some of my new clothes delivered later in the week and decided to wear a new outfit Friday and wham, I freaked, like panic city, short of breath, room spinning, stomach in flippy knots, hands and feet cold and tingling, wham. And I thought, I cannot go to work in anything but my yoga pants, they keep me safe, they protect me, no one notices me in them, and I started to hyperventilate a little.

Then I remember to feel my feelings, try to be compassionate with myself and understand I have used those stupid damn yoga pants as a security blanket. They always fit, they are warm and comfy and then it occurred to me, per Brooke, food does not give a shit about you, well yoga pants don’t give a shit about you either, so let them go, don’t depend on them. If I can give up food, I can give up yoga pants.

So I sat and felt sad for bit and then rolled up all my yoga pants and put them in the Salvation Army bag. End of an era. I think facing the new clothes is part of facing the new me, I have to embrace who I will be and let go of who I was and accept that the new me will be strong and amazing and safe. And uncertainty is something I want to embrace, not run from.

So yoga pants are all gone, high wire without a net. Wore the new outfit to work on Friday, actually felt super nervous walking in, but I did it and then the compliments kept coming in and people really started to notice how different I look! My boss made a HUGE fuss and I left feeling amazing. What a thrilling roller coaster ride! Thanks for giving me the tools to work it all through.

Any suggestions on how I handled it?