Coaching for growth


I have felt a bit stale in my self-coaching the past few weeks and to be honest, have come pretty close to quitting scholars a couple of times because I have a good grasp of the concepts (intellectually?) but haven’t achieved some results I really want. So I’ve gone back to the very beginning to Coach Yourself to Grow and I started today with asking myself:
– What have I achieved already through scholars?
– What are some examples of real results?
– Where am I stuck/spinning in my self-coaching? (Or I guess superficially coaching myself)

This was great because it gave me some close to home TDL prompts and I used these questions today as my prompts for my TDL and focused on one of my “stuck” points for my models which was talking to my BF of 5 years about where we are headed in our relationship after a rough couple of years recovering from his affair (thank you Scholars for getting me through that one!)

UM #1
C I haven’t talked to BF about our relationship
T He may not say what I want to hear
F Fear/anxiety
A Avoid bringing it up; buffer sometimes because I’m agitated
R I don’t give him the chance to say what I want to hear / I don’t get what I want

UM #2
C I haven’t talked to BF about our relationship
T It’s never the right time to bring it up
F Dissatisfied / Disempowered
A Act out of irritation in other areas of my life; don’t talk about it with him
R We don’t talk and maintain the status quo (which I’m dissatisfied with)

IM
C I haven’t talked to BF about our relationship
T If we have a good talk we can decide what we want in our relationship
F Decisive / Resigned
A Decide what I want beforehand; Make a date with him; Ask him what he wants and have a discussion
R We work out what we both want

Part of my work beforehand to decide what I want was to work through:
– what is the evidence we are great together? And not great?
– are we and where are we a want match?

Any comments on my models or anything I have missed addressing before I go all in?