codependency


I am letting my partner’s emotions (or my perception of them) effect my actions.

C: partner talks about how miserable he is
T:
F: anxious
A: make elaborate meals and desserts to cheer him up, also eat the meals myself to feel better
R: we both gain weight which adds to the misery

I am having a hard time figuring out the thought that leads to this pattern. I already know what worse case scenario is of him feeling miserable and it is really bad and I don’t want to go through that again. But am I really thinking “oh, he is unhappy and this means that he is about to (insert very, very bad things that happened the last time)? Because I don’t think I actually believe that is what will happen.