Hi coaches, so as simple as possible, this is the core of the chain of CTFARs that occur every time in front of acts around which I have cognitive dissonance. I might not be even buffering in a relevant sense, but it is the very cognitive dissonance that is at the core of it that makes the whole experience not enjoyable and, also, tend to reinforce and replicate
C1: plan to eat until half of the loaf. eaten half.
T1: this is good, I want more
A1: dig the knife into another bite beyond half
C2: I am cutting a piece beyond half of the loaf
T2: “I should not be doing/eating this”
T3: “f**k this oppressing voice”
A3: eat it
R: do not show up in a way I like
I have my own answers to those thoughts T1,T2,T3, not fully effective evidently. While I keep exploring on my own answers, may I ask you what yours might be to T1, T2, T3 to get some inspiration from? Thanks
Also, it is crucial to me to see that every time during a buffer there is ALWAYS a fight between A) the voice (more or less oppressive, that’s variable) which is marking the limit of allowed behaviour (T2) and B) the voice who claims freedom, independence, who does not want to be a slave to A (T3).
So, at the core of my behaviours there seems to be voice B claiming to be heard. I am thus wondering, would you say that in order to change this pattern key is to make voice A (T2) more soothing or figuring out what does B (T3) wants me to hear, like it is an expression of some unmet need and as long as I do not meet that need (i.e. I let B know it’s taken care of) it will be hard to have a stable change in my patterns? I am sure this would help me deal with all the situations where I have cognitive dissonance, but I do not necessarily have a plan/protocol decided ahead.
Thanks for your feedback, as always.