Cognitive dissonance (want match and staying until I’m happy)


I’ve been dating a guy for 5 months. Over the course of our relationship, I’ve noticed that things that I desire are not there between us. We don’t emotionally connect during sex and sometimes I completely shutdown. We stop because I struggle to feel connected to a man who isn’t comfortable communicating or looking into my eyes during sex.

We also are moving away from eating meals together. He would like to eat at some very specific times of the day which are when I’m asleep or working.

We have a wonderful intellectual connection. Something that is one of my wants, but otherwise I feel like there is a lot of control elements on his end that are disconnecting.

I am willing to feel the pain of breaking up. I mean I don’t feel like we have a strong emotional connection, however I’m also thinking I should stay and try to cultivate it and work on the relationship.

I know indecision is not a great place to be and I also don’t want to rush a decision and destroy a relationship.

Any thoughts would be helpful. Thanks!