Communication vs. Manuals

Now that I am aware of the fact that people can do whatever they want and don’t need to live by our manuals that we create for them, I find that I do not communicate with others (my husband, mom, etc.) to let them know if I don’t like something they have done and instead I just tell myself they can do whatever they want. At what point do you work with others to come together on an issue and at what point do you let it go because you are suggesting they follow your manual?