Compare and Despair


At my job as an attorney, I haven’t been able to get as much trial experience as others. Yesterday I settled a case out of court and met with the opposing attorney about it. She breezed into her office and said “Oh I have lots and lots of trials going on.” I then thought “I am lame for not going to trial.” Here is the model I came up with:

C: Opposing counsel says “I have lots and lots of trials going on.”
T: I am lame for not going to trial
F: Lame
A: Ruminate over what happened with the case that I just settled and generally about trials I did or did not do in the past. Get defensive with opposing counsel about another matter. I judge myself for not having as much trial experience as others. I compare and despair.
R: I create a situation where I perpetuate my thought of being lame for not going to trial and I hesitate to do trials.