Comparison


Yesterday I visited a new friend who is an artist. We had a nice, long first conversation. She is 50 and I think on the verge of really getting recognition for her work, which is great. We mainly spoke about her and her needs, etc. I left happy to have met her properly but very much questioning myself about my own mission, what I was doing in life, my success, etc. My feeling was sadness. It is like if I am all painted in dark grey, disappearing, and my sad world is dragging me down. I really felt my feeling and getting used to it. Here is my model, how to rebound from that sad feeling caused by comparison.

C: Visiting a new friend who is an artist
T: She gets it, she knows what she wants. Underlying thought is I do not understand anything in life)
F: Grey sadness
A: I collapse / I complain / I question everything about me / I doubt everything I am doing / I compare myself / I create sadness / I think I have not find my voice /
I do not see what is good about me / I do not see my value / I do not value myself.
R: I do not understand anything, or I compare myself to prove that I have not found my karma.

I have gone into my feeling and felt it. It is a gloomy sadness.

I do not know how to rise from there. Can you help me to find the bridge thought?

Saying I am wonderful is not really the right alternative. For the moment I am telling myself I am human, and the world has its subtleties.