compassion leads to people pleasing

I have been working on a relationship with my mother for many months. I am fighting with reality and want her to be a different person. One of the tools I learned at LCS is to turn judgment into compassion. I think it is a great tip and I can feel compassion towards my mom a lot of times.

What I notice is that when I am compassionate with her I become a people-pleaser (my mom’s) and come across in a very unauthentic way, just like do when I judge her. Please help me to manage this situation. Thanks.