I was working on a TV commercial. My old career and I was thankful for the influx of quick cash that it was bringing. The production was finally over. If you have never worked in a commercial, film or production it’s grueling work. You have time to come in without a time to get out. It isn’t a nine to five at all. This was no different. By the time we were starting to shoot the production team was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Not the best way to begin.

On the last day of filming, we were in Williamsburg Brooklyn at midnight, I was on my 20th hour of the day and without a lot of food. But the job was done. I wasn’t my best self, I wanted to send my crew home. I didn’t like myself.

The next day it was an easier day, I was still working but from home and was going to have time for myself. I was going to have a brunch meeting with the team and it was canceled at the last minute. I was HANGRY. So much so that I wanted to cry. Instead, I took myself to eat and then to Bikram yoga. And while on the mat you came to my head.

I saw my thoughts on the circumstance. Which are just my thoughts, not the reality, which created my feelings, and everything else. I also had compassion for myself, the people involved, but a lot for myself. Being human.

It has taken me a couple of days of thought downloads, knowing that they’re thoughts. That they’re just in my brain.The lessons of self-care, the acknowledgments of blessings that I don’t have to work in production and I have other options. Something I will not know without you and the model. Thank you.