Confidence vs. capability

Self-confidence, or my lack of it, was the reason I joined SCS in March, but I’ve been procrastinating the June homework the last 2 weeks and consuming only/buffering. I really appreciated your words of support on the last few calls. So I just looked back on my areas of confidence from Week 1, and most of my reasons related to having done it before. I always thought of myself as loving to learn and able to learn. However, I think I’m confident that I can learn ‘book smarts,’ but my mind is totally fixed when it comes to communication skills or social skills – areas where I have felt inadequate since I was a child. I’ve wanted to get those skills to feel confident, especially as an executive leader at work, or perhaps to compensate for my lack of self-confidence. Not surprisingly, it hasn’t worked, and I haven’t been able to develop/practice those skills without the confidence. I think I take the action of taking a course to resist my anxiety and shame. I’m not sure if this is mixing models, so I’d love your feedback.
C: Communications or public speaking course (or any skills-building course)
T: I’m not a good speaker and I need to get better
F: anxious, inadequate
A: take course but consume it passively, don’t practice deliberately
R: I don’t get better, I don’t speak well to myself
C: Communications or public speaking course
T: I can get better at this, I can totally learn this
F: self-confident
A: take course, practice more, get constructive feedback, seek out opportunities at work
R: I improve my skills, I get more comfortable with difficult conversations or public speaking or whatever skill (or is it with myself – which would be awesome?)

Thank you!