Conflicted about a coaching offer

I had a discovery intake call with a coach today to help me start my business. I’m having a bunch of thoughts and some drama about it.

Some of the thoughts include:
– It’s a lot of money
– She’s charging a lot of money and I want to charge a lot of money, so that’s good
– It’s actually not about the money at all – I’m just not confident she can solve my problem (THIS feels true)
– But I really don’t want to make a mistake in launching my biz
– I really want to “get it right”
– I don’t want to follow a set ‘6 step strategy plan’
– I need mindset coaching more than anything else
– I actually prefer more somatic energy work than anything else (ie: feel the feelings in my body)
– I don’t want to sell a high ticket offer yet
– I just want to try it out on my own first and get my bearings before committing to a coach
– I am a leader and I want to do it my way (feels very true)
– I’m so sick of being stuck ‘in a box’
– But I don’t know what my niche is even
– I don’t know what value I’m offering
– I think I need to figure out who my ideal client is and then actually start engaging with them (since this is the one thing I don’t really do)

Hmmmmmm. I think I’ve decided I don’t want to work with this coach. But yeah, I’m afraid of “doing it wrong”.

T I’m afraid of starting my business “wrong”
F Constricted inside in my chest and shoulders
A I meet with many coaches looking for the “right” answer, I abandon myself (this one is key!!!!!), I don’t listen to my intuition, I continue to operate in “fear” mode, I second guess my niche
R No idea…..

I feel like I want/need a business coach, but not immediately. I think I need to just do my own thing for a while with my own business knowledge, before signing up for some expensive program I’m not even sure will help. Part of me thinks that’s irresponsible, but part of me just feels free. I don’t want to follow a “6 figure business in a box” set, I want to make my own way.

I look up to her and her business, though. And I aspire to have something as profitable as her business….but yeah. I guess I’m just not feeling it.