Hi coaches, so I am working on boiling down all the drama I create around food. I have a protocol that I create the night before the next day, so not properly 24h in advance. My protocol is not completely strict in the sense that I specify the maximum amount of food that I wanna be eating in the day, but I still check with my hunger scale so that I don’t eat just because it is written on the protocol, something that has also happened.
Besides this premise, I wanted to ask for your guidance about a situation I frequently find myself in:
I am eating a meal for which either I do not have a protocol set or the protocol is not defined precisely in terms of the number of bites or dressing. I move towards the end of my meal and here I find my body signals to be contradictory. I am filled so I could stop but not fully satisfied, so I can see my body making use of the food. In these situation I have:
C Not overweight, was underweight for xx years in the past. Experienced insomnia with cravings during the night. Meal, protocol is approximate, hunger scale not clear. Question arises in the brain: “Should I eat more or stop?”
T I don’t want to overeat nor to undereat. My protocol does not give me an indication now. My body is giving me cues that I cannot interpret clearly.
A Spin in thoughts, eat more, stop, eat again.
R End of the meal full of drama, big amount of energy spent.
So this situation is very typical and the feeling is lost, but also conflicted, doubtful, hurried (to make a decision), afraid (to do it wrong – I am working on stop beating myself up at the same time). I feel stuck and imprisoned in front of a choice where my brain just sees a lose-lose situation, whatever I choose:
A) Stop eating -> my brain is ready with “You were caught in resistance once again and being too hard on yourself.”
B) Go back to eat -> my brain is ready with “You were not determined enough to allow this urge.”
In these blackouts I don’t want to see curiosity, self-love, goals, motivations. I just care about an answer that can provide me some solidity, safety, grounding.
I would be very glad to receive your help on this. Thanks a lot for the support!