Conflicting Compelling Reasons

Hi. I have a thought that I can’t be a good coach because I am overweight. 50 lbs overweight. I would like to lose weight, but it isn’t my priority. I am not willing to do what is necessary right now in order to lose weight. I choose convenience and caring for my family’s needs over my health and weight loss goals and taking the time to prep a meal that would meet the protocol that is necessary for me to lose weight.

Do I need to spend time here with my unwillingness and accept where I am? Instead of judging myself for being the weight I am and for not wanting to do what’s necessary?

What would be the next step, if ultimately I do want to lose weight? I feel conflicted because my desire to lose weight isn’t as compelling as my desire to be the way I am – an attentive mother and wife and always putting others first. I suppose one could say that is just an excuse, but I have found over time that my natural baseline is putting my family first. I don’t think that will ever change, I don’t really want it to. I want both. I want to be available always for friends and family and I want to lose weight. Thank you! I welcome your thoughts and deeper dive recommendations.