As I was doing my thought download and model this morning, I realized I have conflicting thoughts about staying eating within my protocol. Yesterday I wrote I was having a salad for lunch and instead, I ate poke bowl and taro chips. Some of my thoughts around this are: “this outside of my protocol”, “I’m not staying in integrity with myself”, “this is the reason why I haven’t arrived at my goal weight”. I also have other thoughts that say: “it’s not that big of a deal”, “you will still lose weight”, “you ate within your protocol for every other meal”, “forcing yourself to eat a salad would be too restrictive”, and I have a belief that says “If if restrict myself too much, I will then binge”. I think I learned this belief in my recovery from an eating disorder.
As I was doing models for these thoughts I realized that some of these thoughts make me feel guity, sad, dissapointment, others give me some relief but also make me sad. The belief that if I restrict I will binge, makes me feel trapped. How would you recommend I continue moving forward with this process?