Confusion about my relationship


I’ve been with my partner for about a year and a half. We are engaged. We have had issue after issue in our relationship. I’ve had a personal coach specializing in relationships for the last 6 months. Yet I can’t seem to make things better with my fiancé.

Things haven’t felt consistently good between us for a year. He isn’t affectionate like he used to be and he sometimes tells me that he doesn’t like being around me, drinks to escape my nagging and doesn’t feel the same way about me as he used to.

But then other times he says he loves me so much, can’t wait to marry me and acknowledges that he needs to be better about his drinking issues/drink less. I feel constantly confused. He says things that contradict each other often.

An example is that when we were having a bad week/fighting, he said he didn’t want to think about our wedding plans for 6 months (our wedding was planned for 8 months from then and it’s in a different country). Then when things were better between us for a couple of weeks, I asked him if we could start looking at things and planning, with cancellation options if needed, he said yes and told me to go ahead and book it. And now he’s telling me I don’t listen and that he already told me he didn’t want to talk about it for 6 months.

Here are a couple of Models:
C – fiancé said “I don’t want to talk about wedding plans for at least 6 months;” wedding is in 8 months
T- he’s saying that out of anger and doesn’t mean it
F- disregard (?)
A – at the time -ruminate about how much I dislike the way he says things out of anger; later – ignore the fact that he said that and start talking about plans again
R – ?

C – fiancé says words
T – he’s always contradicting himself and I don’t know what to think
F – confused
A – ask for clarification frequently even when he tells me he doesn’t want to talk, ruminate about the things he says that I don’t like, give little to no air time to the things he says that I do like, act passive aggressive toward him sometimes and loving sometimes
R – I’m contradicting myself and not figuring out what I want to think or do about this relationship

Thanks for your help!