Confusion about relationships

Hi coaches,

I’ve seen this a bunch on the live coaching calls and I feel as though they never have much of a resolution. I see a lot of women get coached on their husbands who are not abiding by their wife’s manual for them, i.e. they don’t replace the toilet paper roll, they don’t come home on time, they don’t do the things they say they’re going to do, etc.

The coach always says it’s the wife’s thoughts about what their husband does or doesn’t do that is creating negative feelings, and it’s never at the fault of the husband. The solution always seems to be to change their thoughts about their husband, and expect that he will never change. This makes absolutely no sense to me.

The wife is just supposed to accept that her husband is rude, late, doesn’t do his own cleaning or cooking, looks at other women, is aggressive when spoken to, etc.?

It really makes no sense to me. It sounds to me like “deal with it and change your entire personal code of ethics on how you want your life to be since he’s not going to change.”

I just don’t like the idea of women rolling over and taking more responsibility in terms of raising the kids, keeping the house clean, etc. just because “boys will be boys.” That’s what it seems like is happening here.