Confusion around Apathy and Weight Loss


I just listened to the podcast on Apathy, and feel like this really describes how I feel about my weight loss “journey” this year. I got real focused. and for about 3 weeks I did really great and lost 7lbs. After about week 2 I felt I had stopped thinking about sugar entirely… which has never happened to me before. Then I tripped up because for a weekend we allowed ourselves to eat whatever when family came in town to visit and now that slip up has extended into a few weeks. And part of me really wants to get back at it, but another part of me just really doesn’t care… I’d rather work on other things and just let myself be free of that worry. I feel confused because:
1) I’m not really overweight, but I’m not where I’d like to be at all. The big reason I want to lose weight is so I can feel more confident in my own skin AND become a better athlete (I am a rock climber, and being more lean is better for climbing fitness. We have a big climbing trip to South Africa this summer and my partner and I have been training very strictly for it since January 9+ hours a week. I’m getting stronger week by week and its very exciting. Being leaner and more dialed in on my nutrition can help me breakthrough on harder climbs, and I really want that!).
2) So much of my focus is going to my other big goal this year (my new business), and that goal is going fantastically!
I feel like my reason to lose weight is compelling, and yet, I’m not always inspired to take action on it. I’m also sort of confused because my eating isn’t preventing the success in my other goals. I don’t use it as an excuse to not do my work, but It gives me pleasure, and sometimes makes the hard work (but exciting hard work) that I’m doing for my business just a little bit more fun (even though I am 100% sure I would still do that work without the overeating). I don’t feel like my life is boring. Im building the business of my dreams, and we travel and get outdoors as often as possible.. but yet I still love sweets, and love getting food pleasure. And this cycle has been going strong for me since I graduated college. I get up to about 155lbs, I’ll lose 7lbs and get down to about 148lbs (goal weight is 135lbs), and then I gain it all back on a binge… then eventually I do it all over again. It feels really pathetic. I’m not sure how to compel myself here. I guess my problem is my compelling reason isn’t compelling enough?