confusion regarding R line

I am having difficulty getting my R line to “prove as evidence for my T line. ”
Here are the facts : I am a hospital employed physician . One of my very sick patients was getting late to be roomed . When I inquired,  I was told it was because of some insurance or copay issues. I sent a message to my nurse through IM ,”These are times when I wish I had my own practice, but don’t tell anyone that. LOL”
She did not reply to that text

C : M did not reply to my text
T: she thinks I am being inappropriate and therefore not acknowledging me
F: shame
A : beat myself up for sending that text , do not follow up on why patient still not roomed, avoid her, don’t ask any more questions regarding other patient issues, regretfully think of other instances where people don’t respond the way I think they would
R: I don’t put myself out there ? I hide ? ( this is where I get stuck)

C : Same
T : Even if she really thinks I am awkward/inappropriate , that is okay
F : acceptance
A : focus on pt care , continue to ask for help , continue to be collegiate and kind
R : I show up as the good person/doctor I want to be ( I am not sure if R is supposed to look like the T line with the same words )
I would appreciate feedback