Consistency what?


Did daily TDL plus lots of TDL maybe 4 pages. Did UM
T-there are so many things.
Never going to get it all done.
They’re out to get you. (Not sure who lol)
(Was gonna break down to just one thought if needed…..)
F-hyper vigilant (Started model on this feeling – a prevalent symptom today 🙄)
A-buffering, spinning, negative, lashing out, defensive crappy behavior
R-less productive (proves two of those thoughts)

T-I am committed, competent, and there is time enough for everything.
F-chill/productive (started w/ feeling I finally clicked into after sitting down and just refocusing on my TDL over & over until I could keep focus w/ it) and felt awesome!!

A-decided what to work on, set pom round, did scholars work
R-specifically got an hour of scholars work done that feels helpful, feeling more capable, feeling proud even

I noted that awesome T & F for daily use. Then – did more writing on prompt for having money wkst – when I have money , then what will the next step be?

I got to the challenge F finally of Consistency!!

So I’m seeing something running underneath everything!! – yay to finding it!

So then tried to do UM & IM w/ F line being inconsistency and consistency.

This didn’t seem to work. Figured out that inconsistency right now Feels like freedom even tho my mind immediately shows itself evidence of how thats false.

And figured out that consistency feels like fear right now….. so then did
T-I loose freedom when I’m consistent.
A-keep being scattered and unproductively scheduled
R-not really moving my dreams forward, spinning on life

What would you recommend from here?
Feels like food insight And I’d like to take it further . . .

T-I will gain more ability to have playtime, downtime, and spontaneous time (That feels particularly yummy because I got all my shit done by being consistent).
F-scared? This doesn’t seem right. Lol


Thank you!