Constraint and Chaos


I am used to responding and a spontaneous approach. This month’s work has put me in a spin. I like the idea of a plan but only the idea. I made one. I didn’t refer to the calender again. I did a daily plan. I ticked off the things I did and fell short of others. I made my list too ambitious. I felt under pressure to perform. I set myself up to fail. I felt like time was less. I pushed harder. I had epic failures in my creative work. I looked at the chaotic mess that surrounds me and felt like giving up. I thought of pulling out until your talk in the last call. Constraint it is an interesting concept for a woman who thinks she can do ten things at once. There they were in front of me in the physical form of works in progress. I stopped.
I am in recovery.