Continued work on exercise

Hi, thank you so much for your feedback on exercise.

It became clear to me that yes, I value being “thin,” or striving to be “thin” based on the work I have been doing on diversity. I realize now that I have enjoyed thin privileged, and have convinced myself that is the only reason people value me.

Two things I would like additional help on that don’t seem to support my idea of thinness are #1 I eat against that belief #2 I try to use exercise to control my weight. So for example, if I overeat, I use exercise to exercise that part away. I don’t trust myself around food, bring foods into the house that are work against my goals. It’s like, I want to eat sugary, crappy foods, and at the same time be thin.  The only way I can do that is if I exercise.

C Eat ice cream, almond flour cookies, sugar-free chocolate, keto chips
T I want these (other thoughts include: “these are the foods I can enjoy and still maintain my weight”)-some additional background here is that I normally don’t allow for too many carbs and typically don’t allow myself to eat “full meal”
F Desperate
A Eat things that are against my goals, eat shamefully, don’t write them down or track them
R I create an environment of mistrust with myself around food

C Exercise
T The only way to stay thin is to exercise since I don’t want to give up the foods that will make me fat if I don’t exercise
F Desperate
A Exercise for 2 hours a day, drive myself through discipline, create anxiety around exercise
R I patch the problem and never am able to resolve this issue for myself