Continuing my old habit of consuming as buffering

The main reason I hadn’t joined SCS is that I was afraid I would consume it as a form of buffering and I have quickly fallen into that habit! In my weekly session we weren’t able to fully reach a next step, so here I am. How do I stop this? I tell myself I don’t know where to start, “try” a bunch of modules, spin my wheels and start over, meanwhile I feel I am not getting any value, feel like crap about myself and continue on this way. How do I stop this cycle!