Continuous loop taking off seven to ten pounds and back

I’ve been a scs since September. My main goal is weight loss. I’ve detailed how i do well for awhile and really believe I’m living in present working on my mind . When I have chosen to respond to my urges by eating I’ve gone back , stopped beating myself up , determined to learn do different. I work on this , I think I learn, I end up back at same weight . I continue . Resolved to do the work . Please, please do not tell me that I’m still beating myself up that I should choose to say I’m still learning : I do … but how do I change what has been my pattern. I want it , I listen , I coach … I am not making progress.