My husband, a super successful man, often blames me for destroying his confidence. I either get angry, tell him he is responsible for his own emotion or buffer with drink then later explode at a little thing (The beach ball analogy I think). I have tried various models. The one below is my preferred model. Does it work?
C- he says you have destroyed my confidence
T- this is his model and it’s part of my 50/50 to just accept it
F- neutral
A- don’t react, move on to other subjects
R- cuts the fights and drama off

My husband is under a lot of stress and explodes verbally at me in a very extreme way. I have found (recently) if I totally don’t react and just ignore it he stops quicker and then apologizes. However for some reason the less extreme behavior as the c above I find harder to address.