Your previous response encouraged me to deep dive into what were some of the thoughts that caused me the burn out. It was not the actual extra hours, but the way I was thinking during those times contributed to the stress. I have spent extra hours previously and felt totally energized and accomplished, so I was able to pin point that its my thoughts and not the hours that caused stress.
My thoughts were
– There is no time to pause and look at my thoughts
– We are not going to deliver this on time
– Everyone’s going to judge me
– My customer is not happy and its all on me

My models were
c: Deadline at work
T: We are not going to deliver on time
F: Shame
A: Stress, worry about everything that is not working. Work after hours but with frustration. Yell at kid. Judge myself for yelling and overworking. Go into unconscious mode. Avoid feeling shame/stress. Don’t take breaks.
R: I burn myself out whether the deadline is met or not.

C: Customer did not respond to my email
T: Customer is unhappy and all my (and my team’s) hard work is wasted effort
F: Frustrated
A: Judge myself as a leader. Beat myself up. Ruminate on how I could have made them happier.
R: I am unhappy.

This is how I would like to think and act in future when heated, deadline-y situations come up.
– I will take 15 mins break to look at my thoughts with curiosity and compassion, and remind myself the following
– Nothing has gone wrong here baby. You have clean drinking water.
– Oh, this is exactly how it is supposed go.
– How is this happening for you?
– Is there anything here that you are unwilling to feel?
– I will make this as easy as I can.
– I wont make it harder than it is.
– Easy is a feeling that I can create for myself with my thinking
– Nothing is a big deal unless I have a thought that it is.

My intentional models now:

C: I cried on the day of release
T: This burn out will serve me, because I am going to teach myself how not be burned out in future
F: Compassion
A: Retrospect with compassion what thoughts led to burnout. Prepare a “Burnout Cleanout” checklist of thoughts and actions. Motivate myself that this burnout is going to serve me. Determined to take on more challenges at work.
R: I evolve into the next best version of myself.

This all ties back into my purpose of “I want to show myself the amazing things I create with my mind”. I create solutions for not burning out next time! I create and train my brain to think thoughts that serve me even during tough times.

Please let me know if you have more thoughts/actions for my “Burnout cleanout” regime 😃