Counseling, ugh!

It’s timely that you had the podcast about therapy and coaching! I have been seeing a counselor/therapist, but have had a couple of experiences recently that have really irritated me. I have gained a lot by going through counseling (it has been about a year and a half of work), but feel like my counselor is almost trying to make me have problems in my past to work on. I have a sister who has cut ties with my family several years ago and my counselor says that some type of abuse must have gone from someone in my family for her to cut ties … when in all actuality, I’m pretty sure my sister is just crazy. Anyway, her comments she made to me most recently have me feeling angry/defensive for my family. Interestingly, I was talking to her about my sister cutting ties because it is the piece of my past that I want to think differently about and was working on this week. Now my counselor has given me new work to put into the model. Haha. I have gained much more with working through scholars since I joined in April than I have with working with a counselor in a year and a half, and I feel like my counselor is constantly encouraging me to try and change the C line (getting my mother to change, getting my husband to change), where I feel much more effective working on myself. I don’t want to quit counseling on this negative note, but do not feel like I’m getting much out of it for the time I’m spending.

Current thought pattern:

C: Counselor’s comments
T: This feels like she is accusing my family of abuse
F: Anger
A: Quitting counseling
R: ? feeling regretful that I didn’t continue?

C: Counselor’s comments
T: I don’t think I’m working with the right person to help me with this.
F: Neutral
A: Quitting counseling, but staying open to other resources that could be helpful
R: Feeling comfortable with my decision and not regretful.