Couple + demotivation


My Unintentional model:
C my relationship with my husband
T I’m not in love with him
E frustrated
A ruminate, seek evidence of my thought, criticize my husband, compare with others
R disconnection with my husband

My intentional model:
C my relationship with my husband
T I’m figuring out how to communicate with my husband
E curious
A ask questions without judging, observe my husband without judging, speak with him, say honestly what I think
R connection with my husband

But I observe that I think:
“It’s been one year and a half that I’m trying to improve my relationship”
“I’ve payed for 2 expensive coaching programs (9400 dollars in total) and I’m still struggling”
“I’m not making any progress”
I feel demotivated.
I wonder if Scholars is the right choice for me. I wonder if I shouldn’t throw in the towel with trying to improve my relationship anyway. It seems that discovering coaching made everything worse with my relationship. I applied for a first coaching program in September 2019 because I was stressed out by work. For me, all was quite fine with my relationship. And now I’ve discovered that I think “I’m not in love with my husband” and I’m still unable to fix it.
It seems that I’m able to use thought work for my professional life just fine. It works. But for my relationship it seems like I can’t make any progress. I’m sick of being stuck and I don’t see an end to it.