My cousin recently scheduled her wedding for the same day as the first day of an annual family vacation. It is one that our families go on every year, including this cousin. With the wedding scheduled, it impacts a number of family members who will have to completely change their vacation plans or miss a day of vacation in order to attend the wedding. My cousin said this date was one of two available at the venue she really wanted for her wedding and hopes that everyone will be happy to adjust their plans. I, along with other family members, are not happy about this. I am working to turn my thoughts around about it so I can feel better. I just wrote my unintentional model this morning and had a revelation.
C-Date of cousin’s wedding.
T-She is so selfish.
A-Complain to other family members. Be less friendly when I see her. Overthink about how to handle the situation.
R-I am being selfish.
What a revelation! It seems totally obvious now that I’ve written down the model. But it is a revelation. Now I’m working on finding a thought that will make me feel loving and supportive. I haven’t quite found the right one yet but I’m working on it. Any suggestions for ways to look at this differently?