So yesterday I pretty much had a total meltdown with thoughts about COVID-19. This morning I did a thought download and created some models about my most upsetting thoughts. I’d love some feedback on whether I’m on the right track here:
C- There is coverage on the news and social media about COVID-19
T- I need to know what’s happening with this virus as much as possible
A – Constantly refresh, don’t manage my time, not present, building more fear and feelings of being out of control
R- Feel out of control because I’m not controlling my thoughts or actions. Don’t pay attention to what’s happening in my mind.
C- COVID-19 is a novel pandemic and my mom has cancer and is receiving chemo and radiation every day this week.
T- My mom will get COVID-19 and die
F – Terrified
A – Call her and tell her and her boyfriend what to do to avoid the virus. Try to control their actions by telling them not to leave the house or see anyone for at least 6 weeks. Don’t find ways to help her now. Put my fears onto her.
R- Not there for my mom in the way I want to be because my mom already has COVID-19 in my mind.
C- My husband is being asked to still go to work.
T- He will put us all at risk!
A- Speak to him angrily, get stuck in my thinking, not open to hearing solutions or finding solutions myself that work given the circumstances
R- Feel like a bad wife and feel bad in general. COVID-19 spreads to my family in my mind.
I want to make sure I have “clean” models here before moving on to some intentional models. Thanks for your help!